i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
