i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
