"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
