no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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