**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
