that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
