she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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