So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
And then he peed in my hair
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