she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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