Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
