In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
A bitchslap is in order.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
