He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
