are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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