Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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