didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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