i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
