Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize