Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
