I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize