i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
