Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Who died my cat blue again?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
