I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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