It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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