Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
