I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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