OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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