He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
