drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
