and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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