i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
