Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
