just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
