The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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