Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
