Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
