love makes seman taste better
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
