Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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