i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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