Do you still have your period?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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