either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
