FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
