I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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