i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
