Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is Oprah even human
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
