That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sober January is a disaster.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
