The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I love you.
Bad choice
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