kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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