I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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