$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
