I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
