***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize