Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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