I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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