But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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